Wednesday, May 18, 2005
didnt wanna blog at first....but im being strained in my heart and i just feel i gotta release it.....

mabbe im asking for too much....but im really lonely....

people around me seems so fake now....ever since i moved to Customer Service....isit coz ive changed? i dont put in effort to maintain the frenship? or isit others?

when i see or read or know that people are enjoying themselves with each other and going out so often...i feel ever so left out and neglected....i dunno whats wrong with my world now...seems like everything's crumbling upon me....and its suffocating me.....


when we were back in Sungei Gedong... i made lots of frens with whom i could communicate well with. Then when i was in Printing and Data, we always had things to talk about, always go out and stuff. also, my frens on level 2 were still close to me and whenever i go up, i could still talk well with them with a sense of warmth...

but now that im in CAS....my frens from Printing & Data dont ask me out to eat anymore...always saying forgot....i find myself in the beginning going after them, keep reminding them and then when they are leaving, upon hearing their footsteps i hurried after them. now...i dont have the energy to do so....i feel like if they dont want me...no point forcing myself on them...

and then upstairs...i dont feel the warmth anymore.....when i read J4 blog on how he and his deferment buddies are so close....i totally envy them...it reminded me of me and my frens when i was still under Mdm Alice....now...all those memories are gone....and i cant even build a decent r/s with people upstairs without feeling that my smile and friendliness has a tinge of fakiness in them.....

ok...printing guys still ask me go out with them to go clubbing....but i dont want clubbing....i just want to eat and talk to each other....find out how they have been....and them finding out how i have been....

people says im lucky to be in CAS....i dont think i am.....

as im writing this, im really having a strong urge to wanna cry....i just feel like everyone's left me....and i hate it.......why is there so much indifference now? why is there so much distance now? i dont get it...


i really feel so lonely and distant from everyone.....is that the curse of CAS?




what must i do to maintain the level of friendships and can go out with my frens again? like J4 and gang? or mabbe even go out with them from deferment or something?




i cant even keep my frens now.....what right and strength do i have to even keep a r/s?

i guess being a frens-person really kills u when u depend on frens alot.....







might as well just take me away from the surface of the earth....




it happened quite some time ago...though i have accepted it...i still cant help but cry with tears of broken-heartedness when i think about us.....


the facts of life....
- 5/18/2005 09:11:00 PM

A long winded Life おれの広し秀明

Name: hiRosHi ~ jOsepH
Age: 21
Nicknames: jOjo ~ moJojOjo
Birthday: 30 July
MSN: hiroshijpop@hotmail.com

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I AM
- sensitive
- understanding
- emotional
- child-like
- hardworking
- friendly
- sociable
- good listener
- a thinker...
- warm
- cute!?!?! waha
- quite flamboyant
- highly perceptive...
- intellectual
- humorous / lame
- colourful

I LOVE
- singing
- World of Warcraft
- Naruto
- playing bass guitar
- collecting figurines
- reading comic strips and fantasy novels
- cookies
- Ben & Jerry's
- sushi
- S.H.E.
- Jay Chou
- drawing
- sleeping
- playing tennis
- Settlers
- myself ^<

Leaderboard
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Dreams of a Young One 夢のだから

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1) Do well for my uni and apply for scholarship!
2) Get a LCD TV for my room
3) Upgrade my com...Sebas is helping
4) Get a new Ipod Video
5) Go to Japan for Holidays
6) Get Darker
7) Write more songs
8) Find the Right One, Mrs Saw anyone
9) Record my 2nd album
10) Lose some flabs!!!<

From the Sound Village　煩い

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你今天还好吗 - S.H.E
斗牛。要不要 - Tank
背影 - 林宥嘉
来不及 - Hebe
甜甜的 - Jay
我不配 - Jay
蒲公英的约定 - Jay



Laments 面どいセ

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Sparks "ドベ"

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gEokiE~chan
sU yiNgsY~chan
aLan cHoOng~kun
sHaoNinG~chan
eRneStiNa~chan
wiNi~chan
iVy~chan
tEreNce~kun
zUz~kuN
bRiaN~kuN
jOshUa~kUn
jAsOn tAy~kUn
iAn~kUn
dArIus~kUn
aLviN~kUn
gEralDine~chan
floNa SRC~chan
lAi waNg~kUn
lI weN~chan
sEbaS~kUn
lAwRencE~kUn
alEnE~chan
dA Ed~kUn
sHeng weI~kUn
tiNo~kUn
My Own LJ
lUci's shOp
fElicIa~chaN
liAne~chaN
wEiyi~kuN
tOdd~kuN
jUstIn~kuN

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Divine Destiny - Frostmourne Guild

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('.')
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